Forgotten Sorrow
by pomidor
Summary: Are we the same persons if we forget our feelings? The fic known as 'Forgotten, really'. Drarry.
1. How everything started

**I changed a plot and made my characters a bit OOC, because I wanted. Don't like HPDM slash then don't read. There may be some mistakes because I'm not English speaker. This is some kind of Draco's diary. Enjoy and leave a review!**

I am Draco Malfoy and I honored this notebook right here with my secrets. But don't think it's a dairy. Dairy is something only teenage girl would write. But let's go on with the story.

I was sitting at slytherin table listening to Blaise talking something about cheese.

"Gouda is the best muggle firm" bla bla bla

"Blaise could you shut up?"

Yeah, I know it was rude. But I couldn't concentrate. I tried to focus on something else. Well, on someone actually. I shifted my gaze back to Gryffindor table. Most gryffindors were gathered in one place. Around Harry Potter. Two girls were sitting on his lap and boy, I believe his name was Dean, was holding his back. Don't seem quite right, huh? I think so too.

You see this started after Sirius death. Potter killed You-Know-Who and gained even more attention from everyone. I thought that he will remain shy like he always was. So I got quite a surprise when in six year he become ultimate playboy. Everyone aside from me seems happy about it thought.

"Are you interested in Harry?" asked Blaise.

"What the hell are you talking about! And Harry? Harry! This always was Potter to us!"

Blaise shrugged unharmed "He's good in bed."

I gaped. Good in bed? What the hell?

"You slept with the world savior?"

"Well, he seduced me. And it's quite common in our school."

I stood and walked out of great hall. I felt a pair of green eyes follow me. What happened to Potter? Was it even the same person I knew? I should not be concerned about him. I didn't practically hate him but still didn't like him very much. But what if this was someone else in Potter's form or something?

The thing that disturbed me the most was that his friends didn't stop him. Once in library I heard them talking about how happy Potter was. And I so wanted to tell them that they are wrong. He was falling. Deeper and deeper into the darkness. I knew that feeling very well. And I'm sure of one thing. You can't help a falling person. Not until that person is ready. If you give them your hand, you had to let go sooner or later. And if that person was not strong enough it will fall again. And Potter was not in a state of standing on his own feet. So I just tried to avoid him.

Next day Potter was staring at me. All day. What does he want?

I found out soon enough. I was walking thru a hallway when some invisible force pushed me into empty classroom. Bet you know who it was? Yes, it was Harry Potter in his own heroic person. I didn't even have time to think about his invisible cloak as he kissed me. And I just… I caught you! You thought I was going to kiss him back! Well of course I didn't. I just pushed him into a wall. He hit his head and yelped.

No, wait! It was not a yelp of pain. It was a sound of pleasure! I was absolutely frightened.

"And this was when I got to know that Harry Potter was a masochist."

"Hey, what's with the narration? I am standing right here, you know?"

"Shut up Potter. You never know if there isn't some crazy writer under invisibly cloak so I just help her in her job."

"Are you normal?" he said with wide smile.

"Better question. Are you?" I put some strength on a last word.

His smile faded.

"I think I'm not."

He looked at me with some confusion.

"Carry on. You already kissed me and I got to know you're a masochist, so I bet there will be nothing surprising in your talk now."

He sat on a desk and I did the same thing. Yeah, I know I shouldn't be here.

"You see after I killed Voldemort I just lost interest in life. It was like I had no feelings at all. So I started to try having sex with many persons. At first it gave me some passion but then I lost interest in it. And well I found my passion in.."

"Pain" I ended critically.

"You see pain is like a spicy food. You eat it even thought your throat calls; water."

"And then I reminded myself Potter was a freak."

"I'm still here!"

"And a loud one for sure."

"And whose a freak with this self narration!"

I ignored that question. It was a habit of mine since I was eleven. Always narrating things helps you understand them and look from wider perspective.

"But I don't understand one thing."

"What?"

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Oh, that. It was just to make you hit me. From quite some time you don't react on my insults. So don't think that I like you, 'cause I don't."

"And what he said next was…"

"Again self narration? You can't possibly predict what I say."

"You were going to ask me to hit you every time you want to"

"Ok, so maybe you can predict. So what's your answer?"

"No."

"Why? You hate me anyway."

"I do not. I just dislike you."

"Isn't it the same?"

"It is not. If I hated you I would like you dead."

"And you don't?"

"No"

"Oh"

"He said very intelligently."

"Stop with self narration!"

After this little incident Potter seemed to avoid looking at me. I'm sure he thought I was going to revel his secret. And I can't say I didn't think about that.

I bit my lip nervously. His little friends should notice. They should help him. I looked over gryffindor table. No one seemed to be unhappy about his behavior.

I stared all breakfast. At the end of it something uncalled for happened. One gryff, named Seamus if I remember correctly, sat next to Harry and kissed him. On the eyes of all students and teachers! And it was not just a peck on the lips. It was full and passionate French kiss.

I was stunned for a while. Then I realized it was my chance! Once again I looked over all gryffindors. Some of them were laughing. Other seemed jealous. There was only one who looked at this with real sadness. I face-palmed. Why does it have to be him?

This person stood up and walked out of great hall and I followed him. He was walking pretty fast and it was hard to catch up.

"Wait!" I demanded dramatically.

He stopped and turned around but didn't look like he enjoyed my company.

"What is it Malfoy?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Potter"

He nodded his head. Had I gone completely mad? What point had talking with Neville Longbottom?

We walked to library. In the end that talk didn't help that much. But at last I got to know that Neville knew about Potter disease. And he told me that Potter got so much crucio spells that he gone mad and started to enjoy the pain.

We heard noise that told us the breakfast ended. I said quiet thanks.

I didn't want to be late for Snape's classes. And there was one more thing to that. I always sat with Harry Potter.

Our desk was the last one in left row. Potter already sat on his place. When I looked at him he hid under curtain of his fringe. His black hair was now even longer then in fourth year but it looked healthier. Still in great mess thought.

Halfway through our lesson he decided that it was impossible to do potion without looking at it. He even spoke to me twice to pass him some ingredients.

Unfortunatly he stumbled and salamandra's eye in his hand flew right in our teacher's face. Snape's eyes could kill. Well, it couldn't but it sounds cool. He started screaming at Harry and took 50 points from Gryffindor.

At first Potter looked at him angrily. But as soon as professor turned he changed. Instead of looking like he got scolded he pulled a face someone kissed do.

It made me angry somehow. So not quite thinking what I was doing I held his hand under the desk. Before he could react I dug my nails in his soft skin. He put a hand on his mouth to not make a sound.

It was starting to get interesting. I pushed my nails harder. He shifted and rest his head on a wall. He was breathing heavily, his eyes closed, cheeks red. With my next push he looked like I was driving him to the edge. And then he opened his eyes. Unique green looked hazed, almost pleading for more. And that made me come back to my senses.

I looked at my nails terrified. I had blood on it. Potter's blood.

He didn't seem very bothered by his bleeding hand. He wrote something on a little piece of paper and shoved it in my hand brushing fingers softly.

The paper said "meet my in classroom 64 at 4 p.m."

I felt stupid. I hurt Potter because of some stupid emotion. My head whispered 'jealously' but that was unlikely. Why should I be jealous about Potter? I didn't mind when Seamus kissed him this morning.

I was hesitant when I stood in front of said door. I had to apologize to him even if he enjoyed our Potion class.

I opened the door. He was sitting on a windowsill looking directly at me. His gaze wasn't really angry, nor happy. It was curious.

"Hello" his voice seemed amused somehow. He smiled widely.

"What is so funny?"

"Because" he walked and stood right in front of me "You came" and his smile seemed even wider.

"And what's so funny in my arrival?" I asked irritated.

"You look frightened. Like a chicken"

My eye twitched.

"Do I look like a chicken to you?"

"Oh, you're right, I forgot! You're not a bird. Isn't it true…" he leaned closer and whispered in my ear "ferret?"

I definitely had enough. I pulled him by collar of his shirt and prepared my fist for a punch. He had victorious smile on his face.

I stopped immediately remembering I decided to not hit him. I let go of his shirt.

"You're ruining my fun." He said pouting. It looked totally funny.

"Try kissing me like last time. Maybe this will help."

And he really kissed me. I stood there shocked.

"Idiot, I was just joking!"

"I know. But it was still worth trying."

"He smiled wickedly."

"I don't smile wickedly! You're the bad character here! Crazy invisible writer will take it all wrong because of you."

"Shut up Potter. And stop seducing me!"

"I don't remember seducing you though."

"You just kissed me!"

"Oh, don't be such a child. I could kiss MacGonagal or Snape if I wanted to."

"Talking about Snape" his face tensed "what was that look you gave him today?"

He once again avoided looking me in the eyes.

"I don't know what you mean"

"You know very well. Is it possible that… you're in love with Snape?"

"No" he shrugged like this idea was totally impossible.

"But you looked like that"

"Because he gave me pain. Not physical though."

"I see. So you do not love Snape?"

"I do not. But I would like him to fuck me. It sure would be painful."

"Stop it. You're giving me a headache."

"Hey Draco, can I ask you something?"

"Why my first name? Ask."

"Are you a virgin?"

"What a bold question. Of course I'm not. Why you ask?"

"Because your reactions are virgin-like"

"Nonsense. I don't blush or anything"

"No, but you shiver slightly whenever I touch you." He thought silently for a while "I know! Maybe you love me!" he said with a cheeky grin. "What should I do? I cannot return your feelings but I am more then willing to have sex with you!" he said that last pharse theatrically.

"That won't be necessary" I said annoyed.

"You sure?"

"Yes" and I started to go in door's direction. When I was inches from them I heard;

"Draco"

"What?" I said not turning back.

"Meet me here tomorrow too."

I'm not quite sure why but we met every day since that time. Always in the same place and at the same time. He called my by my name but I used his surname.

We talked about all types of things. Started from our childhood to school adventures. Soon I knew every thing about third floor corridor and the chamber of secrets. He talked about his feelings occasionally. Like that he don't intend on falling in love with anyone or he's afraid that Voldemort didn't really die. Instead of comforting him I got him some criticism in that moments. He didn't need to be pitied but scolded. Sometimes our talks took long hours and he walked me back to slytherin dorm under his invisible cloak to not be catch by Filch at late hour.

One day we talked about his friends.

"Why do you hold a grudge against them?" he asked my seriously.

"Give for example Weasley. He's like totally barbarian!"

"But he's very loyal and brave!"

"Yeah, like true Gryffindor. I still can't understand why you asked tiara to put you in this house." I said with disgust.

"Hey, our house is really great!"

"Yeah, yeah I already heard this million times."

We were sitting next to each other on a sofa. I transfigured some chairs into it. He leaned on my shoulder and I couldn't help but shiver slightly. He gave my satisfied smile.

"And what about Hermione? Do you hate her because she's not pure blood?

"No, I ended with that philosophy. But I still wouldn't marry her."

He looked shocked.

"You're going to marry? But I was 100% sure you're gay!"

"Of course, because I am gay. But I still want to have a son so he can be a hair."

"You're strange."

"He said not wanting to continue a topic"

"Stop narrating!"

One day when I was going back from our meeting I tripped and fell thru random door. It was some kind of a tunnel. I lit up my wand. At the end of the tunnel I didn't need it anymore. It was bright but I couldn't tell where the light comes from. In the centre of small room there was a mirror. I recognized the frame from Potter's tale. Ein engarp. A mirror that shows what you want the most.

My breath shortened. I looked in the mirror. And I saw him. Harry was standing with me, our hands linked. I looked around me. There was no one. Image of Harry kissed me lightly on a cheek, smiling.

I run away from the mirror. All way to my dorm I was repeating 'I don't love him, I don't love him…'

Next day I felt ashamed. How could that scene be my wish?

I met with Harry at usual place. As always he sat on a windowsill.

"Why are you always sitting here?"

"It's comfortable"

"More then sofa?"

"Come and try yourself"

"We won't both fit in"

He pulled me so I have to sit next to him to not lose my balance.

"And how is it?" he asked chuckling.

"Cramped"

He gave me short laugh. Then he reached with his hand and patted my head. His sleeve slid down. There was a whole lot of fresh cuts. I warn you never look at masochist hands.

"What is this!" I hissed holding his wrist strongly.

"This is what you should expect" he said calmly.

"You idiot! Do you want to be pitied that much!"

I knew it would hurt him. He pushed me to the floor and I pulled him down with me. We started to struggle, hitting each other stubbornly.

All in bruises I managed to pill him to the wall. His face had a strange mix of anger and pleasure on it. When he stopped struggling I unconsciously leaned in as if to kiss him.

"Draco" he whispered "fuck me".

I let him go and stormed out of a classroom. This wasn't really first time that he suggested sex but this time I wasn't sure of my answer.

All night I thought of what to do. I didn't mean Potter suggestion of course, this was out of a question. But I reminded myself of Harry's wrist and his face every time I hurt him. I decided it cannot be like this. I didn't want to acknowledge it but I had strong feelings towards him.

When the morning came I build up a plan. It was hard but worth trying. And I knew it will not be full happy end for me but Harry's health was more important.

I started from a talk with Longbottom. He said he will help me and look after Harry when I will no longer be able to.

When the time came I got to our special classroom. Like I predicted Potter was already there.

"Hello Draco" he said smiling delicately. His lip were cut because of our yesterday fight.

"Hello Harry" I said his name for the first time. He noticed that too.

I sat on sofa motioning him to sit next to me.

"Can I ask you something?" he said uncertainly.

"Yes" I said already knowing what the question is.

"Why don't you want to have sex with me? You seem to like touching me."

"It's because Harry" I said leaning closer to him "I love you".

And before he could say I'm talking nonsense (which I'm sure he would say) I kissed him.

He kissed me before but it was completely one-sided. Now we were both kissing like mad. Totally wild and passionate.

When we parted for breath he started to kiss my neck. I waited for a moment when he closed his eyes. I quickly took out my wand and said;

"Obliviate"

I deleted all his memories from the time he killed Voldemort and replaced it with some normal time in Dursleys house and with his friends in school. Because of our talks I knew a lot about his life. Then I deleted all memories which caused his masochism like crucio spells.

After that I quickly spelled him to sleep. I healed all his cuts and bruises. In mean time Neville walked from behind sofa. This morning I talked to him so he could watch Harry to not become masochist again and tell all gryffindors that he don't remember anything.

After all this spells I was exhausted. Longbottom helped me stand up after I planted one last kiss on Harry's lips. I took of sleep spell.

When Potter woke up he was very confused. Longbottom said him that I attacked him and he passed out. He was yelling at me so quickly that I could not catch up all words. I could see only one thing in his eyes: hatred.

I smiled and whispered to myself "Goodbye Harry"

"What did you say ferret?" said Potter.

"Nothing" I said trying to give him a hateful glare.

And when they exited a classroom I laid on sofa and put my hand on my wet eyes. Then I smiled to myself quite like a mad men.

"This is the end of our melodrama" I said ironically. I heard Harry's voice in my head saying 'Stop self narration!'.


	2. Covered mouth

**I decided to continue from Harry's POW. Sad endings are not my style. I do not own Harry Potter.**

I sat at Gryffindor table and listened to Ron talking about Quiddich. It was pretty much all we talked about after Voldemort's death. It wasn't that I didn't like that topic but I was focused on something else. I didn't have the heart to tell Ron to shut up. So I just listened

half-heartedly.

I was looking at blond Slytherin git. Why did he rescue me? In my mind I still remembered that scene. Dumbledore talking how Draco took off an imperious course of me. Everyone then said me that under course I was acting like complete slut. I couldn't really remember anything of it so I didn't really mind. And Neville seemed like he was hiding something from me. He was a horrible liar.

On top of that I had weird dreams. There always was someone in them but in the morning I couldn't remember who it was. This person always talked to me. It seemed like that person had some strong positive feelings for me. This morning I woke up laughing only because this person called Ron 'barbarian'. I woke up my friends too. They seemed frightened.

So I was totally stressed out. Why do I seem to miss some important point? I had a strange feeling that Malfoy knew something about it.

And the strange thing that I noticed was that he observed me with that cold eyes. Like I did something horrible to him. But it wasn't hate all the times. Somehow his eyes seemed sad.

I walked through a corridor when I bumped into Zabini.

"Look out Potter! I don't want to be so close to you" he said angry.

Then I did something I never expected I would. I drew closer to him. The gap between us was so small I was almost kissing him.

"We both know this ain't true, Blaise" I practically purred.

Everyone was looking at me in utter shock. Even Malfoy was there, his mouth gaped. I had a sudden urge to laugh at him. But then my thinking cut in.

Oh shit! I run away from that place quickly.

I ran into some random classroom. I sat on a chair and slammed my head on a desk. My face was so hot. Why did I just said that? I'm not even gay! And in front of everyone too. I didn't want to say that. It was just like an impulse or something.

At dinner everyone was looking at me. Not that it's something new. Slytherin table was laughing. By now all students probably knew what I said to Zabini. Even my friends seemed confused.

"Harry, do you want to talk about it?" asked Hermione, her voice filled with that horrible feeling- pity.

"About what?" I tried to sound bored.

"You know very well, Harry! Me and Ron will not at last be disgusted by the fact that you like boys! Even if it's one of this snakes, Zabini!" she shouted. Of course. Why not turn attention of that who don't heard about it yet?

"I didn't say that" muttered Ron. Hermione shot him a horrible glance. "I mean of course not!"

I looked at the teacher's table. Everyone was shocked. Everyone except Snape who was laughing. He was literally LAUGHING! And I've never seen him even smile (smirk doesn't count)!

I was probably very red on the face.

"Listen closely!" I shouted to everyone in the hall. Yes, I do not like public attention. But everyone was mistaken and I can't just talk to them all in private! "I will say this just once. I am not gay! And I'm not in love with Blaise Zabini!"

I wasn't really convinced if they actually believed me. But what else could I do?

I looked at Snape. He was laughing so hard that professor Flitwick asked him if he's sick.

I didn't even want to look at students from my house so I looked at what Zabini thinks of all this. He was actually happy that everyone was asking him questions. He was always popular with both boys and girls, so he didn't seem to mind attention. He was kind of beautiful too, after his mother known as the husband eater.

Next to him somehow solemnly sat Malfoy. And what's with that one? Is he heaving a bad day, or something? Or maybe he is jealous of the always popular me. I would be more then happy if everyone was interested in him instead.

And I wouldn't even be surprised. He's kinda more attractive then me. The beauty of the noble blood they say.

When the dinner ended I was at dorm before everyone, pretending to sleep. And I did fall asleep after some time. But in the middle of the night I woke up. From my dream I remembered only one sentence "I love you, Harry". Pathetic. Was I really that lonely to actually dream about someone loving me?

I wore my glasses and lit my wand. There was something not ok. I didn't hear Neville's snores. He wasn't in his bed!

I quickly took a look at marauders map. He was in the classroom on the second floor. But he wasn't alone. Near him there was Hermione and Draco Malfoy! What was he doing with him?

I wore invisible cloak and ran to that classroom.

By the door I stopped. I heard whispers not loud enough to understand what they mean.

I was trying to remember that spell which Hermione tough me a year ago. I said some words, not sure if they're right. Luckily I started hearing them better which mean I succeed.

"So Harry did that of his own free will?" Hermione said seeming shocked.

"Yes, Hermione. Only he can't remember." Said Neville uncharacteristically calm.

"And that's because you Obliviated him?"

"That's right, Granger" said Malfoy. He wasn't at all calm. He even seemed like cornered animal.

"But there is one thing I don't understand. Why did you do that?"

"Because he was hurting himself"

"No, no. Why did YOU?" She said putting emphasis on the last word.

"Because you all were useless, thinking his happy!" he seemed angry now.

"And since when do you care?" she asked suspiciously.

"I.." Malfoy seemed at a lose.

"Hermione, you have no idea how much he'd done for Harry! And it isn't very happy memory for him so leave him alone for now." Said Neville defending Malfoy. Why was he defending our enemy anyway?

I had only a second to escape from the unexpectedly open door and Neville coming out of them. This gave me a chance to slip into the classroom.

"Do you care for Harry?" asked Hermione softly.

"Of course not. Why would I care for Potter" he frowned.

"But you rescued him!"

"He is not… the same person anymore. Not for me." His words seemed somehow heavy.

And I saw Filch on the map. What should I do? Should I help them? You know that bad habit of mine? Yea, always playing the role of the hero.

I stood right behind Malfoy. Quickly covered his mouth and took him under the cloak. After a while Hermione rose the cloak and joined us.

I was still covering Malfoy's mouth afraid that he will scream or something. At first he seemed shocked but he was bored and angry.

"What's happening Harry?" asked Hermione smartly.

"Filch is coming."

"You can uncover his mouth, you know. He will not scream."

"I know. I do it simply for fun."

After hearing this Malfoy bit me.

"It hurts! what is your problem?"

"You covered my mouth! That's the problem!"

"Shut up, ferret! You should be happy. I'm actually rescuing you from detention!"

"I don't need your help!"

"Yea, of course. I would happily let you out, but then you would tell Filch about us too. I cannot trust you, really"

"Potter, it seems you don't know my pure soul at all" he said mockingly.

"Shut up the two of you! I hear footsteps!" said Hermione harshly.

When he passed us I took the cloak of.

"Malfoy, I want to know" I said confidently.

"You want to know what?" he knew what I meant for sure.

"I want to know everything you deleted"

"That's out of the question. I deleted to make you FORGET about it! Why should I make you remember!"

And with that said, he left.

**Leave a review. Any suggestions for next chapters are warmly welcomed. **


	3. Slytherin table

**Yay, next chapter! Thanks for everyone who read it and leave comments! I hope you'll like this one.**** I had some problems and I couldn't update till now, but everything is alright already. I don't own Harry Potter.**

I really wanted to have my memories back. I guess it's very bad if even Malfoy cared for me. But I still want to know.

And what was left was the sad fact of me sleeping with everyone of my own free will. Did that mean that I slept with Malfoy too? I nearly fell out of my chair on that thought.

I stared at him. A lot. Why must I stare at him? It's not that he looks very interesting.

Should I steal some veritaserum and force him to talk about my past? No, Snape would kill me. Or maybe I could beat him up? But he's as strong as me.

I didn't know how to get information. If only he could be that nice and tell me. But being civil is impossible, I guess.

Blond locks were caressed with dark hand of Zabini. Malfoy froze for a moment with spoon of soup in his hand. Interesting. I had a feeling I knew what was gonna happen.

And I wasn't wrong. After a minute Zabini was lying on the floor. Malfoy punched him painfully. And after that he calmly sat back on his place and restarted eating.

He looked in my direction. Our eyes locked. There was what I was waiting for. Passion. The only feeling that could connect us. Because of this wild and violent feeling I knew Malfoy is a man of flesh and bone.

After a moment I noticed that Malfoy is sending me glaring eyes. Probably because I didn't end our eye contact. In third class we had a tradition that which one of us ends eye contact first is going to be called 'chicken'. I smiled warmly at him. My win. He looked on his spoon irritated.

When we were all going back to class I searched for Malfoy in the crowd. It wasn't really hard to spot that radiating hair of his. I walked near him brushing shoulders slightly and muttering 'chicken'. I looked back. He definitely heard that.

The history of magic is the most boring lesson I've ever attended. My carrot top friend was sleeping, snoring even. My other friend was taking notes. I didn't think it was possible, because she knew it all by heart. Malfoy was sending me homicidal glances. As if he thought I will die from it for sure. His handsome friend was looking at me with something I couldn't quite catch, so I named it interest. Some girls from my house were laughing while observing me. Probably gossiping. In short, half of the class was sleeping, other half was looking at me, and one person was seriously learning. Oh and I forgot about me. So what was I doing? Dying from boredom?

Hermione always said I pay too little attention to my surroundings. That wasn't true. Of course sometimes I wasn't interested in it at all. But mostly I observed. I knew little habits of people I considered worth watching. And I felt safe with this people. Even Slytherins. I'm a little too dumb to actually know their characters just by looking at them. I know their movements and tone of voice. This somehow helped me relax.

I was half asleep when some kid walked in and said Dumbledore wants to see me. Yay, I will miss some of never ending professor's talk. But why does he want to see me?

It wasn't anything important. Just checking if I was alright and all. Dumbledore did that often now.

When I walked out of his office I was supposed to go back for fifteen minutes of my lesson. As if that would happen.

I walked straight to the main hall. Devious plan started forming in my head. What if, just by accident, I found myself near enough to hear what Malfoy talks to his friends? Maybe I could hear something about me then. I checked the time. Five minutes. I couldn't go for an invisible cloak. I decided to take the risk anyway.

I crawled under the Slytherin table in the place where Malfoy usually sat. I didn't wait long for his arrival.

At first they were talking about boring things. Pretty much what I talked with my friends about (aside from Zabini talking about cheese and Malfoy screaming he's obsessed).

Then I heard my name.

"So, did you take my advice that time?" asked Zabini quietly.

"What advice?" I heard Malfoy's cold voice.

"You know, about sleeping with Potter."

I heard Malfoy choking. He probably was drinking something when Zabini said that. Zabini laughed.

"So you did?"

"Of course not!" said Malfoy angrily. I relaxed at that.

"That's a shame. He is really good at it, you know? And now he doesn't remember, so you don't stand a chance. It's so hard to believe that you Obliviated him" Zabini sighted resigned.

"I did it for a reason"

"Oh, speaking of this I still don't know what happened between you two"

Malfoy shifted uncontrollably. The tip of his shoe touched my leg lightly. I hope he didn't notice that.

"I don't think this is a right time, Blaise"

"You say it always, whenever I ask" said Zabini in voice that was supposed to be cute, but sound funny.

"Because it's complicated" Malfoy said in tone that left no discussion.

It was the time to end a meal.

"Are you going Draco?" asked Zabini.

"No, I have to eat my yogurt."

I started to worry. I didn't see any legs under the table aside from Malfoy's. I didn't hear anyone. I become frightened when my wand flew out of my pocket to Malfoy's hand.

I wanted to run away but I heard Malfoy shouting "Stop right here!" pointing his wand at me.

He joined me under the table, the top of his wand on my neck. His eyes were cold and angry. He didn't seem to notice he was in between my legs in rather uncomfortable position.

I raised my hands playfully in surrender while smiling. Shit, he had my wand.

"Now, Potter. What the hell are you doing here?" he said, his icy eyes not matching with the fake sweetness in his voice. I was in danger.

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	4. Under water

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"Don't try to run away" said Malfoy with fake sweetness while glaring at me intently.

"Do I look like I'm going to Malfoy?" I said imitating his sweet voice.

"You're stupid thinking that you're safe Potter"

I didn't really think that, but well, let Malfoy think I'm not cowardly scared of him. It's better for his health. He could have a heart attack from over-excitement.

"What should I do with you? What nasty spell you think is the best?" he asked leaning even closer. Oh my. He still had freckles that couldn't be seen from afar. And he laughs at Ron about it.

I was trying to came up with a plan, but my brain seemed to switch-off. Well, maybe I just never switched it on properly.

Just then someone looked under the table. I saw a very surprised face of Pansy Parkinson. My hero!

"Draco, why are you in kissing distance with Potter under the table?"

"I'm actually trying to hex him badly"

"Oh then, go on." Well, maybe not my hero.

"Can I suggest something?" I asked good naturedly.

"Not really" said Malfoy coldly.

"Parkinson, Snape is standing right beside you" I said obviously laying.

"You think I would fall for that?"

"For what ms. Parkinson?" or trying to make them believe I was laying.

"I'm so happy I can see you Professor" Snape looked at me with wide eyes.

"Draco, what did you do to him?" he asked suspiciously.

"Nothing" said Malfoy defensively "yet" he whispered looking me in the eyes.

"Lessons already started so get out of here this instant. Five points from Gryffindor for mocking me, Potter"

"But I didn't…"

"Ten points for your impertinence, Potter"

I glared at him. How can he be so unfair?

Malfoy slowly rose up and I waited awhile for him to go to his classroom. It was safer this way. He took my wand with him! What should I do? Going to Dumbledore with this would be so not cool.

Flitwick wasn't very happy when I arrived at classroom twenty minutes late. But what could he do to the world savior? I forgot. Take points from my house.

Hermione send me a questioning look but I ignored her. Ron looked at me strangely. Like he was predicting what happened. He was the only one that wasn't talking to me about the time I didn't remember. Maybe he knew something that others don't.

"Why did you skip lunch?" asked my brown haired friend with accusing eyes. Sometimes she was just like a mother. Whenever I didn't eat properly or disappear for a short time. Well, at last I think that's what mothers do, for example ms. Weasley.

"Spying Malfoy" I said plainly. I had to stop myself from laughing when she drew a sharp breath and done a face like I killed someone.

"Look Harry, I know he has information, but I don't think spying on him would be the best way… He may cause you serious damage if he's angry, even if you were at some point dear to him."

"That's the problem. I thought we were lovers or something but he said he didn't sleep with me."

"You don't have to sleep with someone that is important to you."

"But from what I heard I slept with pretty much everyone that was on my way. How could it be that I had some sort of connection with him, without sex? I even slept with Zabini for some reason"

"Maybe you were friends?"

"Then why doesn't he talk to me? Why doesn't he care now? I am the same person with memories or without them"

"That's not completely true Harry. Our past have a serious influence on our character"

"But.." I didn't know what to say. She was right. I felt irritation. What had that previous Harry that I didn't?

Was I jealous of myself? That's really stupid. It's not that I wanted Malfoy to like me. It just made me feel like I was somehow worse then I've been.

When the lesson ended I went to search for Malfoy. It was a beautiful day so I figured he would be outside.

He was reading something under a giant tree. Sun rays were shining on his hair giving him a fairy tale look. Others didn't seem to notice him at all. Younger students were having fun near the lake.

"Malfoy" he lazily raised his head and looked at me cockily.

"Potter, how nice to see you!" He said sarcastically "Would you get the fuck out of here, you're blocking the light. I can't read like this."

"Give me back my wand!" I was angry. Without it I felt insecure.

"No" he said plainly.

I gritted my teeth. Leaned over him, only centimeters from his face. He looked stunned for a moment. Like he thought I would kiss him. As if that would happen.

I took his book and threw it into the lake.

After he understood whet happened he stood abruptly. And he hit me. Straight in the face. Heck, that hurt. Why didn't he use magic? Never mind, that way we had equal chances.

We started hitting each other mindlessly. I even bit him once, and in return he scratched me.

In my state of mind I didn't notice a small girl until I pushed her on the ground and in the same moment something entwined my ankle and started dragging me into the lake. Malfoy was as surprised as me. When he shook off, he started running in my direction, but I was already in the water. The line pulling me was increasing speed. I was slowly losing my breath. My glasses had fallen of when I was fighting Malfoy, but I seen everything quite well. For example I saw Malfoy swimming after me with outstretched hand. I took it, but he hadn't got enough straight to pull me up. He took a wand from his pocked. We were hardly breathing at this point. We both knew that if he fucked up, I could lose a leg. But he didn't. His cutting spell hit the line just under my foot.

We started swimming to the surface. He was pulling me up a bit. My lungs were killing me, and just as I thought we're not gonna make it I felt fresh air.

We sat on the ground both completely wet. The students surrounded us with worried expressions. I didn't care thought. I was much more focused on catching precious air.

My head proved to be too heavy for me and I rested it on the first thing I saw, on Malfoy's shoulder. He seemed too tired to care. We just sat there in this position, only sounds we heard was each other's breath.

Well, until the time Dumbledore came anyway. He took us, the girl I bumped into and two other students to his office.

When we arrived there first thing I and Malfoy did was sit down, and sight in perfect unison. Dumbledore didn't seem offended by our manners, in fact I doubt he noticed it. He was now talking with a boy about fourteen.

"Robert, what happened?" he asked calmly.

"Well, Malfoy and Harry Potter started fighting" I shifted uncontrollably hearing my full name "and then that strange line shoot out of water. I think it was aimed at this girl" he said looking at her "but Harry bumped into her and the line caught him and took him to the water. Minute after Malfoy jumped after him. I thought that they drowned, because they weren't surfacing, but they are alive and well as we can all see" he smirked.

"Mr. Malfoy?" asked Dumbledore.

"It was a normal line" Malfoy said understanding what professor wanted to know. "I cut it with normal spell. It wasn't advanced magic. Probably one of the students"

"Thank you" said Dumbledore "For now you can go to your dormitories. Tomorrow I want you all aside from Robert to come here"

I waited till everyone got out of the office. Malfoy sent me a strange look but exited with the others.

"You have something to say to me Harry?" asked Dumbledore smiling.

"Actually, I have a request." I said hesitating.

"I will help if I can"

"Please give me the password to Malfoy's room."

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